You know she’s right Chapman, you really are a terrible person.
I’m currently seven episodes in(going to start eight after this review, I haven’t watched in two days to prolong the experience!), and alongside “You Also Have a Pizza”(which will for sure get reviewed), “A Whole Other Hole” is probably one of my favorite episodes so far. The episode is focused on Lorna, but really everyone gets their chance to shine from Nicky and Big Boo having a fuck off, some interesting developments with Poussey, and some of my favorite Piper scenes yet.
PIPER & BROOK: PRISON PALS
Brook: You were trying to trade me? For a blanket?
Taylor fucking Schilling you guys, that is all. No, but really how amazing has she been this season? Her storyline with Brook Soso in this episode was just the perfect mesh of hilarious and “God, that’s a fucked up thing to do”. Brook is such a fun character, she’s like the Britta of Litchfield, she really is the worst(minor spoilers: when Sister Ingalls tells her to “shut the fuck up” at the Valentines Day party, that scene was amazing). I’m in love with morally compromised Piper this season, I’ve mentioned it before but I love how there isn’t a single character in the bunch that doesn’t do terrible things from time to time.
The Nicky VS Big Boo sex-off was really amusing. Natasha Lyonne has been doing some great comedic work this season, it’s nice to know she’ll still be a part of season three(her NBC pilot didn’t get picked up). Her and Soso having sex was hilarious, and Big Boo’s face when she sees Nicky and Brook at the movie, jeez this show.
VEE IS THE WORST, END OF STORY
Vee, you horrible monster of a person, how dare you drive a wedge in my OTF(One True Friendship, for those not in the know). Poussey and Taystee are just hugging and hanging out, when BAM(!) Poussey plants a kiss on Taystee. Thing is, Taystee isn’t a lesbian, or even “gay for the stay”, which Vee uses to drive a wedge in the girls friendship. Lorraine Toussaint is great though, and I do really like Vee, even if she is horrible.
I have to say, I was a bit “No, really?” when P kissed T, I do not like the idea of them being in a romantic relationship at all. They’re best friends, there has to be some room for friendship in Litchfield too, right? So while I’m happy Taystee didn’t return the feelings(it also seems maybe a bit unrealistic that every woman who goes into prison comes out having a lesbian relationship), I do think the whole lesbian in love with her best friend storyline is a bit trite at this point(HEY, “Faking It’s” finale is on tonight, if they don’t make Karmy happen, there needs to be a riot! Watch “Faking It”, it’s actually really good! #Karmy).
Oh also, the girls all learn about the magical properties of the vagina thanks to Sophia. Laverne Cox has been kicking ass this season, she’s been given less to do, but the stuff she has had to do has been fantastic(that scene where she made Red look “fierce” and they both growl into the mirror, oh my god).
LARRY DOES SOME STUFF
Oh Larry, you horrible boring sweater vest wearing son of a bitch, why must you be so boring this season. Last year, I was just as conflicted as Piper in whether to root for Larry or Alex in regards to who Piper should end up with(Alex though, I wasn’t that conflicted), but this year…oh Larry(I could really use a “Parks and Rec’s” gif right here). He’s just….nothing, he’s not interesting, like at all. I think Jason Biggs is doing a reasonably good job, but why is it that aside from Pornstache(we miss you Stachey, by the way I was watching “Weeds” last night and guess what? Pablo Schreiber and Michael Harney were both in it, and Nancy just got out of Danbury, which is the prison real Piper went to and where Litchfield is based off of, Season Seven of “Weeds” is definitely one of the weaker seasons, but I think in a weird way parts of it influenced OITNB, so give it a rewatch/watch), all of the male characters are really A) boring B) annoying C) not used enough(Piper’s brother is actually pretty awesome, but he’s barely used) or D) all of the above?
I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m happy the show is predominantly female, but the male characters could use some work(Caputo is getting there slowly). Also Polly, you too are worst.
I really love Yael Stone(if they ever want to introduce Harley Quinn in a “Batman” movie, she better be the one they cast). We learn that Lorna and Christopher’s love affair really only lasted one coffee date, and that she had actually been stalking him the whole time afterwards. I really loved this storyline, we saw this character who had as of now just been seen as this silly and overall nice normal girl(who can occasionally say some sort of racist-y things, but you know for the most part she’s good), and took everything we thought we knew about her and threw it out the window.
Yael Stone killed it, and that scene with her in Christopher’s bathtub with his fiancée’s wedding veil on, chills.
I loved this episode, it’s one of my favorites so far. Everyone was really well utilized(well, Larry is…well Larry), it was funny, dark, and just plain awesome.