Orange is the New Black Season Two Review/MAJOR SPOILERS: Locked In

MAJOR SPOILERS

So before I review, I have to apologize for not being on here lately.  I’d like to say it was because I’ve been going through a rough time lately, or that I had discovered the cure for cancer, or that I was the first documented male pregnancy, or that my dog died, or that my dead dog was pregnant(SPOILER ALERT:  I don’t actually have a dog), or that I had a relevant excuse for why I haven’t posted lately.  Alas, my only excuse is pure laziness(also I got HBO, a bunch of television shows on DVD,  Dragon Age Origins, and I also started watching “The L Word” based off Netflix recommendations and I’m kind of hooked).  So sorry about that, and this paragraph which has not a thing to do with OITNB season two, but whatever.

So what did I think of “Orange is the New Black” Season Two??  Well, I certainly liked it a lot, not as much as Season One, but I did really like it.  What was it that made this season not as spectacular as the first?  I don’t know for certain, there were a lot of great episodes and funny moments, but there was a certain spark missing from the new batch of episodes.  Whether that is the lack of the super sexy Laura Prepon(call me, boo), the just as significant lack of the queen of awesome Sophia(I have an idea for a spin-off/crossover with “American Horror Story”, where Sophia gets out of jail and Myrtle Snow is like her aunt or something, because why not(classic Ryan Murphy logic right there), and they travel the world and be fabulous together.  I’d watch that, wouldn’t you?), or the fact that Vee made all of my favorite characters really mean and horrible(except for Poussey, because Samira Wiley is a goddess), or that Larry didn’t die on the way back to his home planet(sorry man).   Also not enough Pornstache.

Here’s what the season did right and wrong, broken down by me.

THE GOOD

  • GREAT ENSAMBLE CAST

The writer’s really kill it when it comes to making each character unique and endearing in their own special way.  Side characters from last season like Miss Rosa and Flaca(I want to marry that woman) got a lot more spotlight this year.   Miss Rosa’s arc in particular was fucking fantastic, I was quite indifferent to her character last year but the way they brought her front and center this season was brilliant(also how perfect was the use of “Don’t Fear the Reaper” at the end of the finale?).

  • TAYLOR SCHILLING

She owned this season, if you turn the season upside down it says “Property of Taylor Schilling” on it, that is how amazing she was this season.  Not to say that she wasn’t amazing last year(she was fantastic last season too), but she just brought her A+++ game this season.  She killed the dramatic scenes, she killed the comedic scenes, and she killed just about everything they handed to her.  My favorite scene this season had to be the scene in the finale when Larry and Polly come to tell her about their relationship, she just fucking dominated that scene(my favorite scene last year was when Larry and Alex met and talked about Piper).   Whether you love Piper or you hate her(but really why?  How is she any worse than Alex, who is just as selfish if not more than she is?), you’ve got to give Taylor Schilling some major props for her work this season.

*How is it she is still super hot and make up-y given all she’s been through, and the fact that she’s in prison?  I’ll ignore this, because well…she’s super sexy, but it’s a bit silly.

  • HUMOR IS STILL SPOT ON

Not a whole lot to say, but that the show still has the same wit as last season.

  • MORAL AMBIGUITY

I mentioned in my season one review how much I enjoyed the moral ambiguity in the first season.  Well this takes that and raises it to eleven.  Seemingly unredeemable characters like Pennsatucky or Healy somehow manage to make their way into your heart, no matter how much you’d rather they not(how adorable was Pennsatucky this season, my favorite scene was the one when she asks Big Boo about the gay agenda, that was fucking brilliant).  Even Fig, who is sort of the big bad of the show, is worthy of our sympathy.  The show sort of wants you to separate the person and their actions, which is a lot to ask of an audience.  It’s so worth it though because you can sort of feel for everyone(except for Larry, and Polly, and Vee, who is actually Satan incarnate).  Also #TeamPornstache

ALL AROUND THE EPISODES WERE VERY GOOD

While I had my issues with the season, every episode was good in it’s own way.  There weren’t any episodes I’d rate lower than a “B” or a “B-“, and even those are rare.

THE BAD

VEE IS E-VEE-L

Lorraine Toussant(I don’t feel like opening another tab, so sorry if I misspelled that last name) gave a great performance, but Vee herself was just sort of a flat character.  She was evil and she broke up my OTF(One True Friendship for those who haven’t read my other OITNB review) Taystee/Poussey, and she slept with and then had her son killed(adopted but doesn’t make it any better).  They spent so much time on her, but they never really fleshed her out, which is weird considering how great a job they did fleshing out even the minor characters.

E-VEE-L CORRUPS

I’ll be honest, Taystee I don’t forgive you.  Crazy Eyes, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you(I probably will eventually).  Black Cindy, I…oh who the fuck am I kidding, I aint even mad at you.  The runner girl, I’m indifferent.  I really hated the way Vee corrupted so many characters, and even the heel face turn at the end couldn’t make me forgive them(NO ONE HURTS SAMIRA WILEY OKAY!!!  THAT IS NOT OKAY!!!).

LARRY

Larry.

LARRY AGAIN.

Larry.

DID I FUCKING MENTION LARRY?!!!

Because he’s the worst!!!!!

OKAY BUT LARRY AND POLLY, DOH!

Okay, so here’s a question you can maybe answer in the comments.  Were any of you interested in the Larry/Polly storyline?  Listen, I actually liked Larry in season one, but he should have stayed there or gotten “House of Cards’d” and got hit by a train thirty minutes into the episode.  Or went off to a farm to hang with Liam from “Faking It” and Riley from “Buffy” and all of the other shitty love interest of television.  Because anything would have been better than Larry/Polly, THEY’RE THE WORST(Britta shivers at the thought of Porry, which is their ship name now, because I said it is).

The only moment that was somewhat interesting was when she was breaking up with her husband, and he thought they were having a threesome and he was down to do it, and then punches Larry when they break the real news.  Season Two ruined any chance of Larry and Polly ever redeeming themselves in my eyes.

MORE DRAMA THAN COMEDY

I like me some drama, but despite being just as funny, the laughs weren’t as frequent.

NO JENNIFER CARPENTER LIKE I SUGGESTED

I made a post where I suggested they cast Jennifer Carpenter(Deb from “Dexter”), and they didn’t do it.  I’m giving you free ideas Jenji Kohan, take them.  She would be perfect on OITNB!

NOW THE BEST…..

BREAKOUT STAR OF THE SEASON:  FLACA!!!!!!!!

Flaca is the best, hands down.

OVERALL

Season Two was good, but not as good as Season One.  Read my other “Orange is the New Black” reviews for more thoughts and stuff.

GRADE:  A-/B+ 

 

 

 

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