Welcome to “This Week in Television”, the blandly titled new segment where I piece together a bunch of thoughts on this week’s television shows I’m too lazy to do a full review for, and tell you about television news, and make you think about death and stuff!
THE STRAIN: Long before “Strain” debuted I talked about how I’d totally review “the Strain”, and how at it’s worst it would be dumb fun. Well shame on me, because it wasn’t dumb or fun, it was just kind of boring. I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely gorgeous, and the cast is all there(COREY STOLL!!!!!!!!!! Also Wheevil from “Veronica Mars” is playing Wheevil from “Veronica Mars”!), but I sort of ended up playing “Sims 2” by the end of the episode , completely disinterested with what was going on. “The Strain” isn’t bad, it’s pretty, and well acted, but it’s just really boring for a show about vampires and Corey Stoll.
GRADE: C for Corey Stoll is awesome
TWO AND HALF MEN ARE GETTING MARRIED: Chuck Lorre continues to beat the dead horse that is the “Mistaken for Gay/Heterosexual Life Partners” trope into a zombie horse, this time by having a fake/legally real gay wedding between the show’s straight lead characters Walden and Alan. “Two and a Half Men” previously made waves when it announced that it would have a *gasp* lesbian character on the show(which is actually pretty edgy for a CBS show, I’ll admit). The real news in this story is that there is some justice in the world, “Two and a Half Men” is ending this year #progress !
Really though, am I the only one who absolutely hates the whole “hahah people think they’re gay, but they’re not! HARHARHAR!” jokes. Like no one just instantly assumes because two people are close that they’re gay. I don’t know, whatever.
NETFLIX’S DAREDEVIL SIGNS A NO NUDITY CONTRACT WITH DEBORAH ANN WOLL: For all those Trubies/boob enthusiasts(I’m ashamed to admit I’m both of them) hoping in vain to see Deborah Ann Woll’s boobs, there is hope. She’s been cast on Netflix’s upcoming “Daredevil” as Karen Page, where presumably we’ll never see her boobs but we’ll watch all seven seasons with blind hope that we will. Damn you no nudity contracts, first Jennifer Beals, now DAW. Also she’s a good actress, so yay!
KEVIN WILLIAMSON IS BETTER THAN YOU: Okay, so what the fuck was that twitter battle that Todd Vanderwerff and Kevin Williamson had? Was Kevin on LSD? Because that’s the only way any of the things he posted made any sense whatsoever.
NPH ON AHS: Neil Patrick Harris might be on “American Horror Story” this year, because Ryan Murphy has magical abilities to get amazing actors do weird stuff!
“JANE THE VIRGIN” IS GOOD, APPEARENTLY!: When I saw the premise of “Jane the Virgin”, I thought “wow, that sounds weird. It’ll probably get cancelled after the first season.”. While it’ll probably still get canned after the season one, it’s actually supposed to be…well good according to critics. I’m sure I’ll grow to love it, only to have it get cancelled, leaving me distraught(a la “Hellcats” and “Ringer” my other CW guilty pleasures).
Well that’s it for this week, see you next week. Also I have a “24: Live Another Day” review I’m working on, so look for that soon(Monday-Tuesday at latest).