This Week In Media/Television: Planet of the Apes, Jenny Lewis and Brie Larson, The L Word, Hannibal, & Other Stuff!

Welcome to week 2 of “This Week in Media/Television”, the revised version of last weeks “This Week in Television”, because now we cover other media!  Basically, I string together random thoughts about things and call it an article.  

THE L WORD SEASON TWO, EPISODE SIX “LAGRIMAS DE ORO”:  THIS IS THE WAY, IS THE WAY, THAT WE LIIIIIIIVVVEE, AND LOVVVVVVEEE!!!!!!  Sorry ’bout that, I have “The L Word” theme song permanently burned into the back of my skull now and it’s only been around six episodes so far.  So episode six was chock full of talking, laughing, loving, breathing, fighting, fucking, crying, drinking, writing, winning, losing, cheating, kissing, thinking, dreaming, and hot prego-sex in a swimming pool.  For reals ‘do, this episode was so good.

So the big moment we’ve been waiting for is here, Dana breaks up with Tonya, and Tonya leaves Dana for Melissa Rivers(who loves our girl T for the person, not the gender).  I felt it was kind of a copout to have Tonya also have been cheating on Dana.  I mean don’t get me wrong, I ship Dalice, but it kind of takes off the whole “Dana’s got a sweet slightly crazy but sweet fiancée who is like perfect, except for the fact she totally killed Mr. Piddles(which is unforgivable, if true), and she’s cheating on her with Alice!” moral ambiguousness.   Though that face that Shane made at the end of the episode was perhaps the best thing I’ve seen in my whole entire life.

Jenny is dating super sexy sex god Carmen de la Pica Morales(that name ‘do, that’s the sexiest name ever), but Carmen really just wants her some Shane(who doesn’t really?).  This leads to us getting some Jenny carnival visions(yay?), and Carmen is like a super sexy Kali, and Shane is the beast tamer, and Jenny jumps off a ledge.  It’s really stupid and pretentious, but that’s just cause Jenny’s like totally intellectual and you just don’t get her writing(my favorite pretentious Jenny moment was her letter to Tim in Season One, and the woman who can speak to manatees book).   Also Jenny’s teacher and that blonde guy want to have a threesome with her fosho.

Tina had a hot hookup with Helena in the pool, which was totes gross because she’s pregnant, but also one of the hottest sex scenes I’ve ever scene on television, especially when they’re in the pool and that jazzy music plays.  Poor Bette ‘do, and that face she made when she was talking to Kit about Kit’s new BF was priceless.  Really all of Bette’s faces are priceless.

GRADE:  B+ for Bette Porter plus for that Shane smile

*Comment if you want me to do more “L Word” reviews, this is sort of me testing the waters.

JENNY LEWIS NEW VIDEO W/ BRIE LARSON, KRISTEN STEWART, AND ANNE HATHAWAY:  I think I was legally dead for five seconds when I realized Jenny Lewis and Brie Larson were in the same music video.  It’s got Shane McCutch…I mean Kristen Stewart and Anne Hathaway as well, and they’re dressed in drag for portions of the video, and it’s just so good.  It’s for Jenny’s new CD “Voyager” and the song is called “Just One of the Guys”.  WATCH IT!

DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES:   This was like the anti-summer blockbuster.   I mean it had a huge scope, giant fights, and a summer blockbuster-y premise but it was like…good.   I’m not trying to say that blockbusters can’t be good, but this movie actually felt like a movie and not just a cash grab.  It was fun and dark, and quite frankly kind of depressing.  SPOILER ALERT when I though Caesar was dead, I was about ready to cry right there in the movie theater END SPOILERS.  It was fucking awesome, go see it!

GRADE:  A-

HANNIBAL SEASON THREE SCOOP:  RAUL MUTHAFUCKIN’ ESPARZA IS BACK BITCHES(#TEAMCHILTON)!  Also we’ll see Abel Gideon in flashback form, Abby is back in some form, and a whole ton of characters from the books/movies I don’t know about will be introduced.   GILLIAN MUTHAFUCKIN’ ANDERSON MIGHT BE A REGULAR!   Basically, this season is going to be fucking amazing.

COMMUNITY IS COOL, COOL, COOL:  Season Six of “Community” is happening, and Troy may or may not come back, not much else came out of comic-con in terms of Community news.  Let’s try and get Donald Glover back on “Community” guys, we can do this, and he can even say that it’s “Because the Internet”.

KENNY JOHNSON BOOKS A LONG TERM STAY IN “BATES MOTEL” WITH NICOLA PELTZ: Kenny Johnson, from “The Shield”(which I haven’t seen) and as that one guy who died on “Dexter”, who played Norma’s brother/father of her child will be back and a regular in Season Three of the A&E series.   Nicola Peltz is back too, after exiting the show in episode two of Season two to work on “Transformers”.

MARY LOUISE PARKER RETURNS TO TELEVISION…WELL NBC…BUT HEY, IT’S SOMETHING:  In another round of NBC’s fun game of “pull an idea out of a hat and see if it sticks”, a eight hour mini-series called “The Slap” has been greenlit.  It’s about a family that is torn apart after a father slaps another family’s child, and is based off an Australian series.   Anyhow Mary Louise Parker and Peter Sarsgaard will star in it as Hollywood execs, and Sarsgaard will start an affair with his wife’s assistant(husband cheating on wife with younger woman is such a worn out cliché at this point, unless it’s Alexandra Daddario, no one cares.   These fictional couples just need to learn about open relationships), and Mary Louise Parker is a friend of Sarsgaard and Hollywood exec who loses her job after green-lighting a pilot called “The Slap”(lol, jk, she does play an executive producer though).

In slightly better news for MLP(just slightly), she will be on “The Blacklist” this season.   “The Blacklist” is a show about James Spader doing cool stuff, and maybe being the father of this one chick, but mostly James Spader.   It’s an alright show, sometimes it’s painfully boring, but other times it’s kind of fun, and the guest stars can be cool(Justin Kirk, who played Andy on “Weeds”, guest starred as a terrorist who had white hair last season).  I know, not the highest words of praise, but we love Mary Louise Parker and James Spader so we’ll watch it anyways.

Seriously though, I love MLP, and I’d watch her water a garden.  It could be worse, she could be on a CBS show(zing!).

That’s this week’s update on stuff.   Next week I’ll talk about some other stuff, and maybe sneak a television review in there.

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