Teen Titans Volume 3 #1(2014) Review/MAJOR SPOILERS: Some Stuff Happens, But Not Much Else

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW….

So it’s been a while since I’ve talked about comics, which is because I really haven’t been reading them.  I last visited the store like a month ago, and I still haven’t read all of those, but today I ventured outside for the first time since I started watching “The L Word”(jk sort of), to pick up “Seconds” by Bryan Lee O’Malley.  And of course, me being the spontaneous daredevil I am picked up “Teen Titans #1” as well.

I feel like the Teen Titans have always been sort of a missed opportunity for DC.  Marvel’s always done a much better job with their teen-driven books because they actually y’know feel like teen driven books.  With books like “The Runaways”(just typing that brought a smile to my face), “Avengers Academy”(which is sort of like “Degrassi” with super-heroes), and “Young Avengers”(which is sort of like “Skins” for superheroes), they’ve really been capture the voices of young people and tell stories centered around them.

With “Teen Titans” it’s just sort of felt like some smaller scale Justice League stories with shorter versions of the Justice League.  Now I’ve always been a fan of the Teen Titans as they were sort of my introduction into comics, but as they’ve continued to shuffle through every writer who isn’t writing any important books(except for…SCOTT LOBDELL, who wrote like every DC book at one time because the higher ups don’t know how to read, lol sorry, that was mean), I’ve just sort of fell out of the loop.

This issue is basically about some terrorists on a bus and the Teen Titans save the day, also Star LABS is up to some shady shit.  That is the whole issue summed up in a single line.  It was just really quick, and kind of boring.  I mean even the complete 90’s mind-fuck that was Scott Lobdell’s run on Teen Titans was at least sort of interesting because it was just so bad(note:  I’m a sane person who has some self respect(KEY WORD:  some, I do watch “True Blood” and “The L Word” after all), so I stopped reading after the first arc so please forgive if it got better after the first arc).

The art’s pretty gorgeous though.  Also dafuck was with Bunker attacking that guy for possibly being a homophobe(who knows maybe he was gonna say something nice?).  Also even if he was being a homophobe it’s not nice to hit people in the face with purple brick things without a really good reason for it.

There’s really no characterization either, which is a must for a first issue.  If you want to get people hooked you’ve got to show why these characters are interesting, what their dynamic is, and their personalities should be on display.   The only thing I know is Bunker and Beast Boy are besties, Wonder Girl has surprisingly big breast for a high schooler, and Bunker likes to hit people in the face with magic brick things.  There’s nothing inherently horrible about this issue, it’s just there’s nothing really interesting.

GRADE:  C 75%

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOAST AND TELEVISION!!!!

Wow, it’s been a year since I started this blog.  Mind blown.  I feel like I’ve really grown as a writer in the year I’ve been writing here, back then I could give two fucks if I spelled something wrong or had a grammatical error, because the RAGE induced by “Dexter” Season Eight was so great(ironically I’m one of the few people who liked the series finale, please don’t kill me).

Now don’t get me wrong, I still make a shitload of grammatical errors(probably, I don’t really edit my posts YOLO), but I think I’ve got this whole basic spelling thing down!  Still I think I’m better at putting my thoughts into words, and it’s sort of broadened my horizons and gotten me to watch shows I never even knew about.  Some of my early posts are kind of cringe worthy, and sometimes I get really off topic, but by some work of the dark lord Cthuluh( JK, I don’t actually worship Cthuluh) I have TWENTY TWO FOLLOWERS, BITCHES!!

Seriously, thank you.  Every one who has ever liked a post, commented, read a post, voted in one of my polls, accidentally found this blog while looking for toast recipes, and all of you twenty-two followers, thank you.  This may not be the biggest blog in the world, but it means the world to me that people actually read it.  When I hear that e-mail alert, or log in and see that update in my inbox, it makes my day.  I DO IT FOR YOU GUYS!

I’d also like to thank “Polar Bears Watch TV”(http://polarbearstv.com/, go there if you don’t already), who was one of my first followers(the first I think, but don’t quote me on that.  LOL, no one’s going to be quoting this post).  SRSLY DO, thank you “Polar Bears Watch TV”, you’ve been one of my most active followers, even back in the dark ages of my “Dexter” rants, and  you also introduced me to “Orange is the New Black”.  So for that I am eternally grateful!

THANK YOU TOASTIES, YOU GIVE ME LIFE!  This blog is sort of like “Twin Peaks”(which I’ve never actually watched but everyone likes to say their work is inspired by, seriously every show), in that like five people actually read it but in twenty years people will probably look at this as one of the most influential pieces of writing ever given to society.

A THOUSAND BLOG POSTS, A MEMOIR, A TUMBLR PAGE, AND A MOVIE!!!!

 

The L Word Season Two Review/MAJOR SPOILERS: “I Really Fucked Up”

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW…

So I finished Season Two of “The L Word” like four days ago and I’m already almost done with Season Three, which I vastly prefer so far.   I really loved Season One of “The L Word”, it was funny, sexy, insightful,  and it seemed realistic in many ways(though obviously there were some ridiculous moments, that required suspension of disbelief, but it’s television).  Season Two wasn’t necessarily bad, so much was it boring.  

There were a lot of fun moments, a couple of great episodes, some fucking awesome couples(I never knew how much I needed Dana and Alice to be together till it actually happened), and overall there were no real horrible episodes, but it felt as if it lost the spark of season one.  It was kind of like “Sex and the City” with lesbians/bisexual women.  Though I really loved the characters, I often wondered if I’d being watching the show if I wasn’t such a gross Yuri fanboy.  

That said I really loved a lot of aspects of the season.  The lesbian boat episode was fantastic, and while it didn’t exactly match up to the Dina Shore themed episode “Looking Back” from season one(which was one of the funnest[I know it’s not a word, but the dictionary can go fuck itself] viewing experiences I’ve ever had, ever), but it was up there definitely. 

Mia Kirshner’s continues to do an excellent job, and while I didn’t really buy into her character’s arc this season she did an excellent job.  A standout scene was how much emotion she was able to bring to the scene where she stripped naked before a crowd of screaming men, instead of being erotic, the scene was downright horrifying.  I was really happy when Tony Goldwyn(who has literally guest-starred on every Showtime series ever) gave her a hug, cause she really needed it.  Also her eyes make my heart melt.

The Mark storyline was literally the worst thing ever.  Seriously it made it so hard to enjoy other parts of the season, just because this storyline was so fucking stupid and gross.  The story painted scenes that should have been fun or sexy, to be kind of creepy because you knew that the characters were being watched.  On the contrary, I did love the Shane/Mark friendship, I think the character had a lot of potential to be Shane’s ignorant but well meaning lezbro/roommate. 

What can I say about the Dana/Alice romance, other than that I often found myself fangirling anytime they were together?  They are just too fucking cute together, and when Dana smiles my heart melts into a pile of goo.  They are now my OTP(alongside Palex, Karmy, and Hannigraham), seriously Alice and Dana are the best(side note:  I took Buzzfeed’s “Which L Word Character Are You?” quiz, and I got Alice.  I cried of joy, not really, but I did a dance of joy which was just as meaningful.  I AM ALICE, if Alice was a guy who wrote expletive filled blogs reviewing television shows on WordPress, but still, same person).  

Let’s not even talk about Helena, m’kay.  I actually love Season Three Helena, but Season Two Helena is the WORST!!!  The lack of Mr. Piddles is felt(we miss you Mister P!).  Kit shows up and does stuff sometimes, and says some sassy stuff, I love Kit even if her character doesn’t really have a purpose 80% of the time.  Bette and Tina getting back together made my heart grow ten times larger, and seeing Bette sad broke my heart.  Also how contrived was it that Bette and Kit’s dad just happened to be BFFs with Gloria Steinem?

Sarah Shahi is gorgeous and talented, and while I like her and Shane together in Season Three, I can’t really get into her character as an individual character.  There were a lot of good aspects of Season Two, but in terms of overall entertainment I felt a little unimpressed sometimes.  It was good, but I wouldn’t call it great by any means.  

*LOOK OUT FOR MY REVIEW OF JENNY LEWIS’S NEW CD, YA’LL!  ALSO “24: LIVE ANOTHER DAY” REVIEW IS STILL GOING TO HAPPEN!  ALSO OTHER STUFF!

GRADE:  B-  82 %