MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW, Duh
Another year, another “American Horror Story” Halloween special. I have to say that each year these episodes deviate more and more from the Halloween theme, but “Edward Mordrake” two-parter really got me interested/a little worried in seeing where this season is going. Last night’s episode was much more fun and faster paced than the others before it, but I do have some minor fears about this season.
So the biggest twist of last night’s episode had to be Twisty’s death, which I admit was sort of inevitable because keeping him and those kids in the bus around longer might have pushed the boundaries of disbelief(then again, this is “American Horror Story”, so….), but it was still a shock to me. John Carrol Lynch really killed it this week, and I did sort of find myself feeling for Twisty a bit(though it’s a little crazy to think the sweet clown in the flashbacks just needs someone to reject his toys for him to go on a killing spree, but hey…”American Horror Story”). Also place another bingo chip on the severe mommy issues free space on your “American Horror Story” bingo card(Twisty just wanted to make momma happy, you guys. Jeez, I’d really like to meet Ryan Murphy’s mom).
Then the other twist is Dandy a.k.a Douche Clown is now the new Twisty, ew. He also killed Dora, aka god. Like fuck you Dandy, Ryan Murphy better bring back Dora or I’m done with this show. Luckily she gave birth to Gabourey Sidibe who will be back in a few episodes, hopefully to slap the shit out of Dandy and call Maggie a bitch. Honestly the Dandy twist has me worried, because he’s the worst, and I’m so sick of these douchey serial killer boys on my television. Someone just needs slap that little shit in the head(I think I just got possessed by the ghost of Dora)
Elsa lost her legs when she got raped by “watchers” in a dirty German snuff film(because, of course she did). There’s also fem-dom dog play, BDSM, and all sorts of other sex acts torn out of the kinkiest editions of “Savage Love” column. Also how hot did Jessica Lange look in that leather Elvira, vampire mistress of the night, outfit? I’d be her dog any day…did I just type that for the whole internet to see?
Also Maggie and Jimmy are going to fuck soon, I can feel it. I’m kind of bored by Emma Robert’s character this year, I just want her to smoke cigs, and call people bitches again like last year(her best line so far is “I’ve got to go pee”, forealz). Still the physical presence of Emma Roberts is still enough to keep me watching. Also Evan Peter’s character is good again, and we must forget that he killed an officer for doing his job because duh, the freaks are the good ones, it’s the real world that’s bad.
Del and Desiree are going through a sexual rough patch, in what might be the most unsubtle bit of foreshadowing this show has ever done(Spoilers you guys: Del is gay!). Which is you know a bit problematic because it implies that the only people that could love or have sex with a woman with a penis are closeted gay men(btdubs: I know real intersex people do not have penises, but the show seems to be telling us that Desiree does, so therein lies the problem). However this is a Ryan Murphy show, therefore any expectations of the show delving into the nuances of human sexuality in a more complex way beyond straight=vagina lover and gay=dick lover, with a catty reference to bisexuals being confused, should be left at the door.
I’m really digging Kathy Bates character this year, and her scene with the doctor was fantastic. She’s definitely got a much meatier role than sassy racist serial killer head from last season(omg, when she was just a talking racist head, oh god, “American Horror Story” I love you so much). Also Jessica Lange covered Lana Del Rey, it was historically inaccurate but also amazing. Got to admit I’m digging these musical numbers more than I thought I would be. Denis O’Hare’s character has a lot more flare this year than in the other seasons. Very Russel-ish, he’s a much engaging foe than Spalding or Larry. Anyways “Edward Mordrake” started a bit slow, but by the second hour it seemed the show was finally ready to show us the good stuff.
+ We’ll always remember that time Dora dressed up like Woody the Woodpecker, and didn’t give a fuck what anybody thought about it. We’ll miss you Dora:(
+Pepper is still awesome/underutilized.
+ Lilly Rabe will be back in episode ten reprising her role as Sister Mary Eunice from season two. I would show concern because it’s GOING AGAINST THE RULES OF THE SHOW, but who the fuck cares? It’s Lilly fucking Rabe, who the fuck are you?!?
+Edward Mordrake kind of sucked.
+ Happy early Halloween!
GRADE: B(Part One)/A-(Part Two)