All posts by ironhawk22

American Horror Story: Hotel “Checking In” REVIEW/MAJOR SPOILERS: Hotel California

MAJOR SPOILERS

It’s been a while, but I’m back and planning to actually be more consistent with my posts and fix up the blog(when I first made this blog I had just started high school, so a lot of my early posts kind of sucked which is why I have privated so many posts).    Anyways, I was actually really pleased with this episode.  I wasn’t a huge fan of “Freak Show”, and “Coven” really fizzled out by the end, so I’ve kind of learned to lower my expectations for this show.   However I think there’s actually a good chance this season might be on the same level as “Murder House” and “Asylum”.

The intro with the hot Swedish girls was a little weird, and kind of lasted a bit longer than necessary but it serves as a pretty good introduction to the kind of things we can expect from this season.  Elizabeth’s “children” remind me a lot of the creepy ginger kids from season one, and the maid was Pepper’s sister and Kyle’s mother in “Freak Show”/”Coven”(Spoilers I guess, I’m pretty sure she’s a ghost and her character is going to be in the flashbacks with Evan Peter’s character this year).  I was a little surprised at how depraved Kathy Bates character ending up being after having playing the moral center of last season(the way she had the girls locked up seemed to be a callback to Delphine’s torture methods in season three methinks).   I’m also really digging Sarah Paulson’s character this year, and I’m happy I don’t have to worry about her dying seeing as she’s already a ghost(Ryan kept good on his promise of finally killing off her character, I was actually pretty surprised when it turned out she was a ghost but it definitely makes sense given her 90’s style clothing and continued residence at the hotel).    She hasn’t really had that many scenes with Kathy Bates before so it’ll be interesting to see how they play off each other as the season goes on.

Now to address the elephant in the room, which is Lady Gaga taking over in the wake of Jessica Lange’s departure.    I’ve been a little skeptical about her casting, she’s so big and so well known it’s kind of hard to look at her and not think LADY GAGA and not Countess Elizabeth, but I was pleasantly surprised by her in this episode.   I can’t say I’m a huge fan(she’s obviously a talented artist, I’ve just never really listened to much of her music, nothing against her), but I thought this role seemed made for her(probably because it was).   Her and Matt Bomer’s first scene is a very memorable, very rock and roll scene in which the two get hopped up on cocaine and head to a outdoor LA screening of Nosforatu(Spongebob Flashbacks) where they seduce another young couple into a foursome before slashing their throats and drinking their blood(Can you say goals, lmao).    They have really good chemistry, and Lady Gaga looks incredibly sexy, even when she’s covered in blood.

We also get introduced to Wes Bentley and Chloe Sevigney’s characters.   John Lowe seems kind of like a boring Will Graham(aye, if I don’t get to doing a Hannibal write up let it be known I loved season three), and I hope there’s more to Chloe Sevigney’s character(hopefully she gets some sexy scenes too!).   I have to say what with the creepy Addiction Demon rape scene with Max Greenfield, the dead body in the mattress, and the Commandment Killer’s first tableau this episode was a lot more shocking and scary than anything in the last two seasons.  We also meet Will Drake, his son and the return of Marcy the relator from season one(she also reveals the Harmon’s dog, Hallie got put down, though she refers to the dog as he so maybe she’s talking about a different dog or Ryan Murphy just has a hard time keeping track of continuity.   Probably the latter, but I’ll hold out hope that Hallie lives on).  I have a feeling the son is going to be very annoying as is the case with most kids in horror movies but who knows.

The trailer showing what’s coming up was pretty brief but it looks like we get to see a really fun, crazy Sarah Palson this season which I’m psyched about.    Finn Whittorock is also going to be back, and unfortunately there wasn’t a lot of Angela Basset in the trailer(she’s my favorite on this show tbh, her character this season looks epic, I’ve heard she first shows up in episode three).  I’m pretty optimistic about this season, it’s got the theme and visual style of season one, the scares of season two, and the glamour of season three.    Let’s hope they don’t fuck this up!   Lily Rabe in a few weeks, also shoutout to Denis O’Hare who I didn’t really mention but gave a really good performance in this episode!  I’m feeling like I’ll review this whole season, I know I mentioned last time I posted here I was really depressed but I’m feeling a little bit better and more motivated now, so yay!  Also planning on writing about “Scream Queens” soon!

GRADE: A

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Jane the Virgin “Chapter 21” Review/Major Spoilers

Spoilers

My first review in like twelve years, yay.   So can I just say how much I love this show?  Because I love it so much.   Gina Rodriguez is so talented, pretty, funny, and did I mention pretty.   The characters just feel so real, the plot is soapy and fun, and the product placement for Target never fails fo amuse me(JTV drinking game: take a shot everytime a character references Target).

So I’m kind of getting sick of Rogelio.   He was a favorite for a while, but I’m starting to get sick of his narcassism.  I kind of want Xiomara to date someone who cares more about her.

i’m so happy Luisa is back.  She’s my favorite character, I have a hunch that her “new girlfriend” is really Rose, which I both like and dislike as an idea because I like the new girlfriend a lot and don’t want to lose her but I also like Rose.

Jane and Michael seem to be nearing a reunion which at this point I’m kind of rooting for.   I’m not really much of a shipper but they have had  some great moments lately that  make me hope they get back together.   I don’t even try to ship with this show, it’s too hard because one. episode I’m rooting for Jane/Rafael, then I’m rooting for Jane/Michael.   I have a feeling the finale will end with a very “Veronica Mars”-y ending with us not knowing who Jane chooses.

Side Notes

*  I wrote this on my phone so excuse any weird formatting issues please.

*  Jane’s best friend rom OITNB is wonderful and needs to be a regular next season.

* Abuela’s eyes shoul be listed in the credits, she makes such a great like what the fuck looks with her eyes. It’s great.

* I love the text messaging on this show.   Makes it seem more real.

Overall, I absolutely loved this episode.  Watch this show please.

9/10

I’m Back…Hopefully!

Hey guys, sorry for the much too long hiatus. Due to depression and such I kind of lost interest in television for a while among other things. However I’m doing a lot better and I’m getting caught up on all the stuff I missed and watching new stuff too(I’m for sure gonna review “Empire” soon and “Unbreakable Jimmy Schmidt”, spoiler I loved them both and I have a really bad crush on Ellie Kemper now). So I’ll do my best to try and put out new stuff as often as I can. I love you all and hope to be posting more stuff soon.

American Horror Story: Freak Show 4×10 “Orphans” Review/MAJOR SPOILERS

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW…

I have to say with these last two episodes “Freak Show” has really upped it’s game.   “Orphans” is without a doubt the best episode of “Freak Show”, maybe even one of the best of the series.   The episode serves as a nice tie-in to “Asylum”, showing us the life of Pepper through flashbacks as well as having a quick appearance by Sister Mary Eunice, but it also starts to set the end of the season into motion while revealing the freak show’s beginnings.

First, I have to say it was nice to see Maggie unleashing her inner Madison Montgomery on Desiree.   While I can’t say I totally buy the Maggie/Jimmy romance,  I think the show finally justified her character this week, who prior to this really could be taken out of the season with no real impact to the story.  I feel as if I’m one of the few people that actually likes Emma Roberts, and not just because she’s hot(seriously though , can we please get a shot of Emma Robert’s booty or at least get another scene with her in her underwear like in “Coven”)Madison was one of the most consistent elements of “Coven” and I’m not going to suddenly forget that because her character this year is generally pretty dull.  What can I even say about Angela Basset, that I haven’t already?   She’s been killing it, and I’m hoping if any of the characters gets a happy ending it’s her.

Jessica Lange got some good stuff this week too.  It was nice to see the side of Elsa we saw in the premiere.  It’s strange I recently re-watched the premiere, and it’s crazy how much things have changed since and how many bizarre plot twists the show has taken since then.  Elsa was actually quite caring , even if a bit self-obsessed, at the beginning and seemed to care for the freaks in her own way.  This was Jessica Lange’s best episode all season, no doubt.  The Pepper backstory was really well done, and as much as I feared that it would seem out of nowhere it really didn’t and I don’t think I would have minded anyways.   It was a heartbreaking backstory, but god was it nice to see Briarcliff and Sister Mary Eunice again.  I hope that Naomi Grossman get’s an award for outstanding guest star or something because she was fantastic this week.

This was a great episode, and I’m actually excited to see what happens next.   We have Neil Patrick Harris and Jamie Brewer(Addy/Nan!!!) in the next two episodes to look forward too.   I’m super excited for Jamie Brewer’s return, hopefully her role is a bit more interesting than Gabourey Sidibe and Emma Robert’s “Freak Show” characters.  These last two episodes have really upped the stakes, maybe “Freak Show” will be able to end with some style.

OVERALL: A+ 97%

American Horror Story: Freak Show “Blood Bath” MAJOR SPOILERS/Review: Mother’s Greatest Gift

MAJOR SPOILERS….

Gloria:  No.   I can’t live without you.

Dandy: Okay.  (shoots her)

I wasn’t a fan of this episode.  Or the last.   Or maybe even the whole season.   I’m not sure.   But what I know is I didn’t care much for this episode, and that this season has a lot of wasted potential.   I mean when I looked at the credits and saw Danny Huston and Gabourey Sidibe were back, I was so excited then this episode just…happened.    It was a mess, I feel like the season might go down as my least favorite if they don’t speed up soon.

Okay, so in my time of reflection I realized Finn Wittorock is actually really fucking awesome.   I feel like I was taking his performance too seriously at first, but now I’ve seen the light.   Having said that his storyline isn’t really going anywhere.   Like he still hasn’t really tied himself into the “Freak Show” enough.  While I’m sad to see Gloria go(Frances Conroy deserves a much better role next season, I mean don’t get me wrong she was great this year, it’s just her character wasn’t), that death scene was fucking brilliant and probably one of the few bright spots in the episode.  Gabourey Sidibe’s character better have a purpose, I mean I love Gabby, but I feel like this might just be another one of those “LOOK WHO’S ON THE SHOW? BAM DEY DEAD!” moments or worse…a Patti Lupone, where she ends up having no purpose and is just there to look pretty.

The Angela Basset and the Freak Women thing was so fucking campy.  Like I really wondered if the dialogue was a joke or not.  So bad, yet so good.   Seriously Angela Basset, Kathy Bates, and Frances Conroy are gonna run this bitch next year without Lange.  Speaking of, Ethel’s death was too soon, and not necessary at all.   Though, this “American Horror Story” we’ll probably get a couple flashbacks of bearded Kathy Bates in all her greatness.  Jessica Lange brought the camp, and it was great, even though that dialogue was also really awful.  Also why did no one assume that Strong Man doucheface Michael Chiklis might have had something to do with Ma Petite’s death after what he did to Amazon Eve?

Also mega props to Denis O’Hare, he is killing it this year.  His character is great, Emma Robert’s on the other hand…  It’s a shame, really.   I know people give her a lot of shit, but I loved Madison last year and she and Myrtle were my two favorite parts of “Coven” so I’ve been really excited to see what Emma Robert’s would get to do this season.   Well, the answer to that is still up in the air.   The character has done nothing.   Plus what the fuck was with her suddenly being the voice of reason?   I’m hoping she get’s a psycho character next season, I love Emma Roberts, and I really wish she had more to do.

Overall, there was some great acting, and some unintentionally funny moments, but overall this episode was pretty shitty.   It’s not even fun to hate watch.   I really hope they step it up.   Also Danny Huston is back, or was, hopefully they do something with that.   Next week, Lilly Rabe as Sister Mary Eunice and Briarcliff return so YAY for that!   I miss season two, and I’m really pumped to see Briarcliff even if for five minutes or whatever amount of time it’ll be.   That said Pepper hasn’t really done anything this season, so it feel weird we’d just through her off the island in one episode and give her focus just to let her go.

GRADE:  C 75%

American Horror Story: Freak Show “Pink Cupcakes” Review/MAJOR SPOILERS: Dreamers

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW

“Freak Show’s” really sped up these last two episodes.   We finally got to see Douche Clown in all his killing glory, we learned Dell’s secret(which wasn’t that big of secret if you read these reviews, cuz I called that shit last week), we find out that Desiree is just like all the other girls except for you know the boob thing, also Gabourey Sidibe shows up as the daughter of sassy maid and it’s awesome.   Also Matt Bomer showed up, and apparently this is a big deal, but I’ve somehow neglected to see “Magic Mike”, and “Glee”(save for a few of the Brittana episodes in Season Two), and “White Collar” so I didn’t really get it.

It was nice that the show kind of saved itself from some unfortunate implications by revealing that Desiree doesn’t have a penis.  I mean the implications are still unfortunate but less so.  I loved how she’s just like “yeah I was about to fuck your son/my stepson then my vag started bleeding.  Eh”, she’s definitely one  my favorite characters this season and it’s nice to see that people might be getting more informed about intersex people with this and “Faking It”.  Ethel is a real trooper too, Kathy Bates has kind of been killing it this season.

I’m still pretty underwhelmed with Elsa, the character just seems so familiar if you’ve seen the show before.  It’s every character Jessica Lange has played since Season One rolled up into German David Bowie singing fem dom freak show owning package.  It’s the same fame hungry, controlling, and conniving super bitch that Lange has played since “Murder House”.  Not to say that she doesn’t do it well, but it would be nice to see Jessica Lange get to flex her skills.

Douche Clown is still a clown, still a douche, and still not the best actor but his story has become more tolerable since he became more involved with the overall storyline.   I have a feeling that Matt Bomer’s character is still alive and has some freak powers, god how funny/horrible would it be if he just became a talking head like Delphine last season.   Oh my god, let’s not give the writers any ideas.  Dell’s going to have to have one fucked up backstory if the writers think anyone is going to like him, I mean how big of a cunt is he?   Like even with his boyfriend who he’s supposed to love he acts like a cunt, and that last scene with Doctor Spaceman (idk what his real name is so lets just call him Doctor Spaceman after “30 Rock”).

I’m not particularly invested in Evan Peter’s and Emma Robert’s characters or their romance this year, though if it means we get an Emma Robert’s sex scene then sure, let’s go there.  I think I’m one of the few people who really loved the fakeout kill of the twins, like how fuck up was that?   I felt like I was watching Lana getting kidnapped again, and the image of the rotting dead head of Dot was the scariest thing this season hands down.   I even jumped a little.    Plus there’s no way I’d have wanted them to kill of Bette and Dot this early, I love Sarah Paulson too much.

Overall, this episode was really good.   Somehow in spite of my general hatred of most of the characters, I’m really starting to dig this season.   Definitely needs more Pepper and Gabourey Sidibe.

GRADE:  A- 90%

American Horror Story: Freak Show “Edward Mordrake”(Parts One and Two) Review/Major Spoilers: Douche Clown Rises

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW, Duh

Another year, another “American Horror Story” Halloween special. I have to say that each year these episodes deviate more and more from the Halloween theme, but “Edward Mordrake” two-parter really got me interested/a little worried in seeing where this season is going. Last night’s episode was much more fun and faster paced than the others before it, but I do have some minor fears about this season.

So the biggest twist of last night’s episode had to be Twisty’s death, which I admit was sort of inevitable because keeping him and those kids in the bus around longer might have pushed the boundaries of disbelief(then again, this is “American Horror Story”, so….), but it was still a shock to me. John Carrol Lynch really killed it this week, and I did sort of find myself feeling for Twisty a bit(though it’s a little crazy to think the sweet clown in the flashbacks just needs someone to reject his toys for him to go on a killing spree, but hey…”American Horror Story”). Also place another bingo chip on the severe mommy issues free space on your “American Horror Story” bingo card(Twisty just wanted to make momma happy, you guys. Jeez, I’d really like to meet Ryan Murphy’s mom).

Then the other twist is Dandy a.k.a Douche Clown is now the new Twisty, ew. He also killed Dora, aka god. Like fuck you Dandy, Ryan Murphy better bring back Dora or I’m done with this show. Luckily she gave birth to Gabourey Sidibe who will be back in a few episodes, hopefully to slap the shit out of Dandy and call Maggie a bitch. Honestly the Dandy twist has me worried, because he’s the worst, and I’m so sick of these douchey serial killer boys on my television. Someone just needs slap that little shit in the head(I think I just got possessed by the ghost of Dora)

Elsa lost her legs when she got raped by “watchers” in a dirty German snuff film(because, of course she did). There’s also fem-dom dog play, BDSM, and all sorts of other sex acts torn out of the kinkiest editions of “Savage Love” column. Also how hot did Jessica Lange look in that leather Elvira, vampire mistress of the night, outfit? I’d be her dog any day…did I just type that for the whole internet to see?

Also Maggie and Jimmy are going to fuck soon, I can feel it. I’m kind of bored by Emma Robert’s character this year, I just want her to smoke cigs, and call people bitches again like last year(her best line so far is “I’ve got to go pee”, forealz). Still the physical presence of Emma Roberts is still enough to keep me watching. Also Evan Peter’s character is good again, and we must forget that he killed an officer for doing his job because duh, the freaks are the good ones, it’s the real world that’s bad.

Del and Desiree are going through a sexual rough patch, in what might be the most unsubtle bit of foreshadowing this show has ever done(Spoilers you guys: Del is gay!). Which is you know a bit problematic because it implies that the only people that could love or have sex with a woman with a penis are closeted gay men(btdubs: I know real intersex people do not have penises, but the show seems to be telling us that Desiree does, so therein lies the problem). However this is a Ryan Murphy show, therefore any expectations of the show delving into the nuances of human sexuality in a more complex way beyond straight=vagina lover and gay=dick lover, with a catty reference to bisexuals being confused, should be left at the door.

I’m really digging Kathy Bates character this year, and her scene with the doctor was fantastic. She’s definitely got a much meatier role than sassy racist serial killer head from last season(omg, when she was just a talking racist head, oh god, “American Horror Story” I love you so much). Also Jessica Lange covered Lana Del Rey, it was historically inaccurate but also amazing. Got to admit I’m digging these musical numbers more than I thought I would be. Denis O’Hare’s character has a lot more flare this year than in the other seasons. Very Russel-ish, he’s a much engaging foe than Spalding or Larry. Anyways “Edward Mordrake” started a bit slow, but by the second hour it seemed the show was finally ready to show us the good stuff.

Other Things

+  We’ll always remember that time Dora dressed up like Woody the Woodpecker, and didn’t give a fuck what anybody thought about it.   We’ll miss you Dora:(

+Pepper is still awesome/underutilized.

+ Lilly Rabe will be back in episode ten reprising her role as Sister Mary Eunice from season two. I would show concern because it’s GOING AGAINST THE RULES OF THE SHOW, but who the fuck cares? It’s Lilly fucking Rabe, who the fuck are you?!?

+Edward Mordrake kind of sucked.

+ Happy early Halloween!

GRADE: B(Part One)/A-(Part Two)