Tag Archives: Television Reviews

Jane the Virgin “Chapter 21” Review/Major Spoilers

Spoilers

My first review in like twelve years, yay.   So can I just say how much I love this show?  Because I love it so much.   Gina Rodriguez is so talented, pretty, funny, and did I mention pretty.   The characters just feel so real, the plot is soapy and fun, and the product placement for Target never fails fo amuse me(JTV drinking game: take a shot everytime a character references Target).

So I’m kind of getting sick of Rogelio.   He was a favorite for a while, but I’m starting to get sick of his narcassism.  I kind of want Xiomara to date someone who cares more about her.

i’m so happy Luisa is back.  She’s my favorite character, I have a hunch that her “new girlfriend” is really Rose, which I both like and dislike as an idea because I like the new girlfriend a lot and don’t want to lose her but I also like Rose.

Jane and Michael seem to be nearing a reunion which at this point I’m kind of rooting for.   I’m not really much of a shipper but they have had  some great moments lately that  make me hope they get back together.   I don’t even try to ship with this show, it’s too hard because one. episode I’m rooting for Jane/Rafael, then I’m rooting for Jane/Michael.   I have a feeling the finale will end with a very “Veronica Mars”-y ending with us not knowing who Jane chooses.

Side Notes

*  I wrote this on my phone so excuse any weird formatting issues please.

*  Jane’s best friend rom OITNB is wonderful and needs to be a regular next season.

* Abuela’s eyes shoul be listed in the credits, she makes such a great like what the fuck looks with her eyes. It’s great.

* I love the text messaging on this show.   Makes it seem more real.

Overall, I absolutely loved this episode.  Watch this show please.

9/10

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I’m Back…Hopefully!

Hey guys, sorry for the much too long hiatus. Due to depression and such I kind of lost interest in television for a while among other things. However I’m doing a lot better and I’m getting caught up on all the stuff I missed and watching new stuff too(I’m for sure gonna review “Empire” soon and “Unbreakable Jimmy Schmidt”, spoiler I loved them both and I have a really bad crush on Ellie Kemper now). So I’ll do my best to try and put out new stuff as often as I can. I love you all and hope to be posting more stuff soon.

American Horror Story: Freak Show 4×10 “Orphans” Review/MAJOR SPOILERS

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW…

I have to say with these last two episodes “Freak Show” has really upped it’s game.   “Orphans” is without a doubt the best episode of “Freak Show”, maybe even one of the best of the series.   The episode serves as a nice tie-in to “Asylum”, showing us the life of Pepper through flashbacks as well as having a quick appearance by Sister Mary Eunice, but it also starts to set the end of the season into motion while revealing the freak show’s beginnings.

First, I have to say it was nice to see Maggie unleashing her inner Madison Montgomery on Desiree.   While I can’t say I totally buy the Maggie/Jimmy romance,  I think the show finally justified her character this week, who prior to this really could be taken out of the season with no real impact to the story.  I feel as if I’m one of the few people that actually likes Emma Roberts, and not just because she’s hot(seriously though , can we please get a shot of Emma Robert’s booty or at least get another scene with her in her underwear like in “Coven”)Madison was one of the most consistent elements of “Coven” and I’m not going to suddenly forget that because her character this year is generally pretty dull.  What can I even say about Angela Basset, that I haven’t already?   She’s been killing it, and I’m hoping if any of the characters gets a happy ending it’s her.

Jessica Lange got some good stuff this week too.  It was nice to see the side of Elsa we saw in the premiere.  It’s strange I recently re-watched the premiere, and it’s crazy how much things have changed since and how many bizarre plot twists the show has taken since then.  Elsa was actually quite caring , even if a bit self-obsessed, at the beginning and seemed to care for the freaks in her own way.  This was Jessica Lange’s best episode all season, no doubt.  The Pepper backstory was really well done, and as much as I feared that it would seem out of nowhere it really didn’t and I don’t think I would have minded anyways.   It was a heartbreaking backstory, but god was it nice to see Briarcliff and Sister Mary Eunice again.  I hope that Naomi Grossman get’s an award for outstanding guest star or something because she was fantastic this week.

This was a great episode, and I’m actually excited to see what happens next.   We have Neil Patrick Harris and Jamie Brewer(Addy/Nan!!!) in the next two episodes to look forward too.   I’m super excited for Jamie Brewer’s return, hopefully her role is a bit more interesting than Gabourey Sidibe and Emma Robert’s “Freak Show” characters.  These last two episodes have really upped the stakes, maybe “Freak Show” will be able to end with some style.

OVERALL: A+ 97%

American Horror Story: Freak Show “Pink Cupcakes” Review/MAJOR SPOILERS: Dreamers

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW

“Freak Show’s” really sped up these last two episodes.   We finally got to see Douche Clown in all his killing glory, we learned Dell’s secret(which wasn’t that big of secret if you read these reviews, cuz I called that shit last week), we find out that Desiree is just like all the other girls except for you know the boob thing, also Gabourey Sidibe shows up as the daughter of sassy maid and it’s awesome.   Also Matt Bomer showed up, and apparently this is a big deal, but I’ve somehow neglected to see “Magic Mike”, and “Glee”(save for a few of the Brittana episodes in Season Two), and “White Collar” so I didn’t really get it.

It was nice that the show kind of saved itself from some unfortunate implications by revealing that Desiree doesn’t have a penis.  I mean the implications are still unfortunate but less so.  I loved how she’s just like “yeah I was about to fuck your son/my stepson then my vag started bleeding.  Eh”, she’s definitely one  my favorite characters this season and it’s nice to see that people might be getting more informed about intersex people with this and “Faking It”.  Ethel is a real trooper too, Kathy Bates has kind of been killing it this season.

I’m still pretty underwhelmed with Elsa, the character just seems so familiar if you’ve seen the show before.  It’s every character Jessica Lange has played since Season One rolled up into German David Bowie singing fem dom freak show owning package.  It’s the same fame hungry, controlling, and conniving super bitch that Lange has played since “Murder House”.  Not to say that she doesn’t do it well, but it would be nice to see Jessica Lange get to flex her skills.

Douche Clown is still a clown, still a douche, and still not the best actor but his story has become more tolerable since he became more involved with the overall storyline.   I have a feeling that Matt Bomer’s character is still alive and has some freak powers, god how funny/horrible would it be if he just became a talking head like Delphine last season.   Oh my god, let’s not give the writers any ideas.  Dell’s going to have to have one fucked up backstory if the writers think anyone is going to like him, I mean how big of a cunt is he?   Like even with his boyfriend who he’s supposed to love he acts like a cunt, and that last scene with Doctor Spaceman (idk what his real name is so lets just call him Doctor Spaceman after “30 Rock”).

I’m not particularly invested in Evan Peter’s and Emma Robert’s characters or their romance this year, though if it means we get an Emma Robert’s sex scene then sure, let’s go there.  I think I’m one of the few people who really loved the fakeout kill of the twins, like how fuck up was that?   I felt like I was watching Lana getting kidnapped again, and the image of the rotting dead head of Dot was the scariest thing this season hands down.   I even jumped a little.    Plus there’s no way I’d have wanted them to kill of Bette and Dot this early, I love Sarah Paulson too much.

Overall, this episode was really good.   Somehow in spite of my general hatred of most of the characters, I’m really starting to dig this season.   Definitely needs more Pepper and Gabourey Sidibe.

GRADE:  A- 90%

American Horror Story: Freak Show 4×01-4×02 “Monsters Among Us”/”Massacres and Matinees” Review(Major Spoilers)

Don’t call us freaks!

“American Horror Story” is back!   I’ve remained cautiously optimistic for “Freak Show” in spite of the horrific final episodes of “Coven”(I was actually digging Coven for a while, but alas it’s final five episodes were a hot mess).   The new season is filled with a blend of new and old blood(including the show’s first returning character Pepper from “Asylum”, played by Naomi Grossman), and while still shot in New Orleans, the setting is more rural this time around.  Ryan Murphy and the cast weren’t lying when they said Season Four would be a spiritual successor to Season Two, the tone of it’s very reminiscent of Season Two.   But is it good?

I think it’s a little early to say that, and be 100% sure.   The first few episodes of “Coven” were fucking fantastic, and that slowly digressed into a steaming pile of shit by the finale(aka the worst hour of television I have ever viewed).  The first two episodes are very basic introductory episodes, and it seems this season is going to be going at a much slower pace.   I think this season has a lot of potential and I’m excited to see where this is going.

“Monsters Among Us” was a very strong opener.  Obviously there was a lot of buzz about that “Life on Mars” cover, and I think it deserves it all, Lange killed it(Bowie’s still better though).  I found the opening scene with the mailman entering Bette and Dot’s house to be fantastic.

The biggest problem I have with this season so far is Dandy aka Douche Clown Jr.   Much like the other characters to receive the title of douche here on this blog(Zach from “Dexter”, and the twins from “The Following”) he is a budding young sociopath and certified douche bag in 49 states including Alaska.   I truly can’t put into words how sick I am of the budding young sociopath douchebag that has slowly been making it’s way into every show.   He is the worst(but omg, Frances Conroy is adorbs as always!).

While I can’t say I’m personally scared by Twisty, I can say the visual design is fantastic and I can totally see why people are so freaked out by him(his mouth, tho’).  Having said that his story feels very disconnected from the freaks,  and kind of a random add on which I guess is sort of a classic “AHS” feature.

The second episode was surprisingly boring for an episode of “American Horror Story”.   Though the introduction of Desiree and the strong man looks to be a very interesting storyline.   Also the Sarah Paulson “Criminal” cover was fantastic, I have a feeling the music is going to be a lot of historically inaccurate fun.  I’m really digging Kathy Bates character this season.

The whole Elsa wants the twins dead twist was a bit too “Coven” for my tastes.   It’d be nice to see a Jessica Lange character that wasn’t selfish and out to get everybody.  So far we’ve had one great episode of “Freak Show” and one meh one.  I have a feeling that now all the characters are introduced the pace should speed up.  Also tonight’s episode introduces Emma Robert’s character and we all know how much I love me some Emma Roberts(any chance Ryan can throw us a bone and  throw in a little woman ass this season?).

GRADE:  A-(“MoA”/B-(“MaM”)

The L Word Season Two Review/MAJOR SPOILERS: “I Really Fucked Up”

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW…

So I finished Season Two of “The L Word” like four days ago and I’m already almost done with Season Three, which I vastly prefer so far.   I really loved Season One of “The L Word”, it was funny, sexy, insightful,  and it seemed realistic in many ways(though obviously there were some ridiculous moments, that required suspension of disbelief, but it’s television).  Season Two wasn’t necessarily bad, so much was it boring.  

There were a lot of fun moments, a couple of great episodes, some fucking awesome couples(I never knew how much I needed Dana and Alice to be together till it actually happened), and overall there were no real horrible episodes, but it felt as if it lost the spark of season one.  It was kind of like “Sex and the City” with lesbians/bisexual women.  Though I really loved the characters, I often wondered if I’d being watching the show if I wasn’t such a gross Yuri fanboy.  

That said I really loved a lot of aspects of the season.  The lesbian boat episode was fantastic, and while it didn’t exactly match up to the Dina Shore themed episode “Looking Back” from season one(which was one of the funnest[I know it’s not a word, but the dictionary can go fuck itself] viewing experiences I’ve ever had, ever), but it was up there definitely. 

Mia Kirshner’s continues to do an excellent job, and while I didn’t really buy into her character’s arc this season she did an excellent job.  A standout scene was how much emotion she was able to bring to the scene where she stripped naked before a crowd of screaming men, instead of being erotic, the scene was downright horrifying.  I was really happy when Tony Goldwyn(who has literally guest-starred on every Showtime series ever) gave her a hug, cause she really needed it.  Also her eyes make my heart melt.

The Mark storyline was literally the worst thing ever.  Seriously it made it so hard to enjoy other parts of the season, just because this storyline was so fucking stupid and gross.  The story painted scenes that should have been fun or sexy, to be kind of creepy because you knew that the characters were being watched.  On the contrary, I did love the Shane/Mark friendship, I think the character had a lot of potential to be Shane’s ignorant but well meaning lezbro/roommate. 

What can I say about the Dana/Alice romance, other than that I often found myself fangirling anytime they were together?  They are just too fucking cute together, and when Dana smiles my heart melts into a pile of goo.  They are now my OTP(alongside Palex, Karmy, and Hannigraham), seriously Alice and Dana are the best(side note:  I took Buzzfeed’s “Which L Word Character Are You?” quiz, and I got Alice.  I cried of joy, not really, but I did a dance of joy which was just as meaningful.  I AM ALICE, if Alice was a guy who wrote expletive filled blogs reviewing television shows on WordPress, but still, same person).  

Let’s not even talk about Helena, m’kay.  I actually love Season Three Helena, but Season Two Helena is the WORST!!!  The lack of Mr. Piddles is felt(we miss you Mister P!).  Kit shows up and does stuff sometimes, and says some sassy stuff, I love Kit even if her character doesn’t really have a purpose 80% of the time.  Bette and Tina getting back together made my heart grow ten times larger, and seeing Bette sad broke my heart.  Also how contrived was it that Bette and Kit’s dad just happened to be BFFs with Gloria Steinem?

Sarah Shahi is gorgeous and talented, and while I like her and Shane together in Season Three, I can’t really get into her character as an individual character.  There were a lot of good aspects of Season Two, but in terms of overall entertainment I felt a little unimpressed sometimes.  It was good, but I wouldn’t call it great by any means.  

*LOOK OUT FOR MY REVIEW OF JENNY LEWIS’S NEW CD, YA’LL!  ALSO “24: LIVE ANOTHER DAY” REVIEW IS STILL GOING TO HAPPEN!  ALSO OTHER STUFF!

GRADE:  B-  82 %

Orange is the New Black “You Also Have A Pizza” Review/MAJOR SPOILERS: Love Is…

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW…

Nein, Motherfucker Nein!

“You Also Have A Pizza” is probably my favorite episode of season two.  It was perfectly put-together, and gave us a good mix of heartbreak, humor, loneliness, and so many other feelings.  The Valentines Day chapter was probably one of my favorite chapters in the book, and while this episode is by no means a direct adaption of it at all, it really captures the feel of it.

It sheds some light on Poussey’s past, and it also furthers the rift between Taystee and Poussey(it’s weird, it took me just now writing their names for probably like the hundredth time to think “Wow, those are some strange names, huh?”).  Samira Wiley is such a spectacular actress, and the flashbacks in this episode felt very real to me, she really made you sort of feel what she was feeling.  The flashbacks don’t exactly top Miss Rosa’s flashbacks(I’m not sure if I’m going to review that episode so I just thought I’d mention how great that episode was, and what an excellent job they did finding an actress to play young Rosa), but they were great.

The whole “Love Is…” commentary offers sometimes humorous sometimes surprisingly heartfelt asides.  Flaca’s explanation was probably my favorite, because…well Flaca is the best character ever(let’s cross our fingers for a spin-off).  There’s also a Piper-Larry reunion in this episode and of course Larry can’t come to visit his fiancée on Valentines Day, who might I add is in prison, to get her to start snooping around the prison for a story potentially getting her in even a more fucked up situation if she get’s caught without being a major asshole.  Thanks Larry, you’re the worst! 

I did love the whole sun-moon parallel, and I do love it when people call Piper out on her shit, even though I do sympathize with her a lot.  Larry then goes and steals a kiss from Polly because he doesn’t want to feed off other people’s light, so he goes and kisses his fiancée’s best friend to show that he’s totally like individual and stuff, yeah that didn’t make much sense.  Then Pete shows up and is awesome and nice for about a minute, can Pete also be in the Flaca spin-off? 

Sister Wife Trailer Trash Non-Reading Nothings!

I’m really loving Pennsatucky’s arc, she’s still ignorant and crazy, but she’s also kind of adorable(and apparently Hillary Clinton)!  That final scene between her and Healy sharing the cookie was so sweet, I’m actually kind of coming around to Healy nowadays.  That’s one of things that’s so impressive about the show, many of these characters have done absolutely horrific things and yet you can still find yourself empathizing with those same characters at certain points.  The show sort of asks you to separate the characters actions and sort of look at the person as a person and not as an individual action they committed. 

Leave room for Jesus!

There are a lot of heartwarming scenes at the end actually from Maritza and Flaca’s kiss, to Lorna and Suzanne just hugging it out(my favorite scene ever!), and the Healy-Pennsatucky scene I mentioned earlier.  To contrast there are also some “awww man!” scenes like that whole Taystee-Poussey scene which was a kick in the feels, and poor Caputo watching Fischer and douche guy together.  The episode ends with Nicky asking Piper what love is, and she responds by saying it’s like coming home after a long trip, a home that Piper may no longer have.  I really love the Piper-Nicky friendship and hope to see more of it next season.

Some other fun moments

  • Sister Ingalls tells Brook Soso to “PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!”, after Soso tries explaining to Sophia her complex conspiracy theory behind the story of “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off”. 
  • The sex competition between Boo and Nicky is over.
  • Leanne is now leader of Pennsatucky’s old crew.

“You Also Have a Pizza” was excellent, one of the reasons the show feels so real to the audience is because of how effortlessly it mixes comedy with drama and emotion, and this episode is a perfect example of that.  

GRADE: A 96%